Living an Optimal Life

I’m on a plane again. Then, the enormous, red rabbit greets me, looming menacingly from the ceiling as I descend the escalators to the baggage claim again, as I have countless times these past two years. Much of the travel the first year could have been avoided, but subconsciously, I was escaping my world then, convincing myself it was for financial necessity. Thus, I successfully removed myself from it, in my constant absence, and now, the travel has become habit, and a necessity perceived or real. As home life friendships begin to blossom and relationships bud, my next trip hits the reset button, and I return beneath the rabbit to start over again. As I do so, my boys get older. Every trip Ryan is a little taller, and I can only imagine what I’ve missed. Life in between is a whirlwind of overcompensating quality time with the kids, detoxing travel food and booze, frantically stocking the house with groceries, clean clothes and a routine. Just when I’m organized and ready to re-conn...

Do you ask yourself this question? I do, on average, twice a year, as that is how often my life changes in nearly every way. It's been this way since my divorce four years ago, and to be fair, most of my ten years of marriage as well. In fact, if babies could talk, that would have likely been the first sentence I uttered after exiting the birth canal. Yes, it's a theme. There are theories, the first being the results of combining a naively and spontaneously enthusiastic personality with the inability to say "no." Another could be drawing the short stick in heaven when "luck" was being distributed or checking the box labeled "painfully challenging and tumultuously character building" on the Level of Difficulty Order Form for life before descending the birth canal. Or maybe I told God, "Do what you want to me, just make it a good story." If I had a dollar for every time a therapist told me, "You should write a book," I could aff...