One year and a half later..... Traveling Salesmom stopped in her tracks.
So I changed the name of this blog.
It used to be about a single, traveling sales-mom, fitness enthusiast and aspiring wellness coach. Now, it's about embracing reality and creating the best version of it, whatever your circumstances allow. Everything has changed in one year. The identity that once defined me, which motivated the frenzy-like productivity spawned from a survival mode I thought life's obstacle-ridden path required of me, ceased to be. Piece by piece, my identity was chipped away revealing a new entity, which first promised a better existence, then took a sharp, unexpected turn, leaving me asking, yet once again, "How did I get here?" And more importantly, "Who am I now?"
First, I found my partner. He was the one who didn't love me in spite of my three boys and ridiculously consuming traveling sales job, but loved my boys and loved me through it. We understood each other in an unrivaled way and had so much in common, I was sure he was my other half. In exactly one year from the day we met, we were married, and it seemed like the tides were finally turning. We were going to reap the karmic blessings we'd collected from a history of misfortunates and begin to truly live in bliss. But the fairytale tapestry was tainted with mismatched, colorful strands of poor health, rollercoaster emotions, job change stress, extreme fatigue and joint pain. Was I allergic to happiness? Or a healthy relationship? It had taken a toll, and Brian relentlessly loved me through it, determined to find me a competent doctor once we were married. It was probably hormones, or an immune deficiency requiring knowledge of the right supplement.
I'd stopped teaching fitness classes, barely mustering the energy to exercise at all, ever. This aggravated my unidentified auto-immune dysfunction, and my stress response skyrocketed. I continued to feel worse and worse. What seemed like adrenal fatigue, chronic fatigue syndrome and generalized anxiety, accompanied by brain fog and simply put "the uncharacteristic inability to think straight." No longer feeling confident in my ability to coach others to better health, I stopped pursuing my health/life coach degree, stopped taking care of my family and was barely able to keep up with my ever-complicating sales job. Every time I traveled, I came home an exhausted wreck. "Zombie Mom" was my new identity, and Brian did the best he could to pick up the other pieces... We both wondered why. Three weeks after our wedding, we learned the truth. It started with the most grueling and demanding work trip yet and the Camp Fire back home.
It used to be about a single, traveling sales-mom, fitness enthusiast and aspiring wellness coach. Now, it's about embracing reality and creating the best version of it, whatever your circumstances allow. Everything has changed in one year. The identity that once defined me, which motivated the frenzy-like productivity spawned from a survival mode I thought life's obstacle-ridden path required of me, ceased to be. Piece by piece, my identity was chipped away revealing a new entity, which first promised a better existence, then took a sharp, unexpected turn, leaving me asking, yet once again, "How did I get here?" And more importantly, "Who am I now?"
First, I found my partner. He was the one who didn't love me in spite of my three boys and ridiculously consuming traveling sales job, but loved my boys and loved me through it. We understood each other in an unrivaled way and had so much in common, I was sure he was my other half. In exactly one year from the day we met, we were married, and it seemed like the tides were finally turning. We were going to reap the karmic blessings we'd collected from a history of misfortunates and begin to truly live in bliss. But the fairytale tapestry was tainted with mismatched, colorful strands of poor health, rollercoaster emotions, job change stress, extreme fatigue and joint pain. Was I allergic to happiness? Or a healthy relationship? It had taken a toll, and Brian relentlessly loved me through it, determined to find me a competent doctor once we were married. It was probably hormones, or an immune deficiency requiring knowledge of the right supplement.
I'd stopped teaching fitness classes, barely mustering the energy to exercise at all, ever. This aggravated my unidentified auto-immune dysfunction, and my stress response skyrocketed. I continued to feel worse and worse. What seemed like adrenal fatigue, chronic fatigue syndrome and generalized anxiety, accompanied by brain fog and simply put "the uncharacteristic inability to think straight." No longer feeling confident in my ability to coach others to better health, I stopped pursuing my health/life coach degree, stopped taking care of my family and was barely able to keep up with my ever-complicating sales job. Every time I traveled, I came home an exhausted wreck. "Zombie Mom" was my new identity, and Brian did the best he could to pick up the other pieces... We both wondered why. Three weeks after our wedding, we learned the truth. It started with the most grueling and demanding work trip yet and the Camp Fire back home.
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